The Mountain West bowl tie-ins haven’t always been terrible. Who am I kidding, yes they have. In the MWC, you better win the conference, otherwise you might be playing the 3rd place MAC team in Des Moines. By virtue of dropping their rematch against Fresno State, the Broncos missed out on SoCal matchup with Wazzu, but playing a coachless North Texas team at a soccer stadium in Frisco is still better than several other options. Here’s a list of those bowls and their associated gifts.

The Hoobastank Bowl

Location: Barstow, CA
Gift suite: Ed Hardy tees, “hella JNCO jeans”

The Miracle Whip Bowl

Location: Eau Claire, WI
Gift suite: Personal tub of Miracle Whip

The Bol Bol Bowl

Location: Khartoum, Sudan
Gift suite: “Kisra” and “Gollash”

The Bob Newhart Bowl

Location: Burlington, VT
Gift suite: Personalized Cardigan, box of marzipan

The Werthers Original Bowl

Location: Scranton, PA
Gift suite: Assorted bulk candies (up to 3 lbs)

The Kanye West Bowl

Location: Boca Raton, FL
Gift suite: Yeezys, Skeezys, questionable reading materials

The Preparation H Bowl

Location: Brownsville, TX
Gift suite: Temporary Relief

The Agent Orange Bowl

Location: Da Nang, Vietnam
Gift suite: PTSD

The Fieri Bowl

Location: Flavortown, USA
Gift suite: Deep-fried CASIO watch, 2 minutes in something called “Donkey Sauce Chamber”

The Unbelieva Bowl

Location: Realms of the Unknown
Gift suite: Metaphysical Enlightenment, Starbucks gift card

The PyongYang Bowl

Location: PyongYang, North Korea
Gift suite: Gift card to Mao’s Wearhouse, High-and-tight haircut, 92 hours of hard labor

The Stan and Gladys Rodgers Memorial Bowl and Fun Run

Location: Omaha, NE
Gift suite: Orthopedic slippers, Suspenders, $500 in store credit at Fashion Bug

The Burlington Coat Factory Activewear Bowl

Location: Vacant lot behind that Denny’s
Gift suite: Slightly singed clothing bundle from Burlington, Knockoff cologne, a mug that says “World’s best grandma”

The Internal Revenue Service Audit Bowl

Location: Washington, D.C.
Gift suite: Form 1040-ES, Form 9465, Form 5406-T