Less than 5 weeks ’til kickoff, isn’t it beautiful? Presenting: Mr. Alexander Teubner
#34, Alexander Teubner, RS Senior, S
High school: Seaside HS (You guessed it, Seaside, OR)
How’d he get to The Blue™?
Mr. Teubner was walk-on from seasidey Seaside, OR. In HS, Teubner amassed 2,420 yards and 44 TDs at RB, earning him all-state honors in the Beaver State. Oh, did I mention? That was just his senior season. Luckily, the BSU coaches were able to persuade him to come to B-Town by pointing out that The Blue™ is kinda like a sea if you don’t think about it.
Last year I was really on a long-nickname kick, but today I’m reaching for the lower-hanging fruit. Make no mistake, you do NOT want to end up on YouTeub.
It’s the wrong kind of football, but our lookalike machine is pulling Bosnian striker Edin Džeko. I would contend that YouTeub is a striker as well, he just usually strikes people.
From his freshman season, Mr. Teubner has exponentially increased in games and production, starting at 2 appearances in 2019, to 13 in 2022, including 5 starts. He started in the Frisco Bowl, where he collected a career-high 12 tackles, .5 TFL, and a pass-breakup.
I want to say that this year with be Alex’s breakout season, but honestly? I think he’s already good. There are shoes to fill in the wake of JL and Tyreque, but Mr. Teubner has shown he’s ready to fill them. I think it’s fair to have some concerns about our secondary after losing so much, but I’m not gonna be the one doubting a walk-on with serious proven talent.
Is he on Twitter?
You better believe it, @Alex_2bner, and he’s putting in the work:
Completely made up fact
Alex recently founded a charity that aims to teach young kids to not call Twitter by its new name, X. He says if they really are set on changing the name, it should be something tasteful, short, and promoting of a good cause, like “First Kick Was Good”.